My dear friend.... I'm trying to understand u

"All the men i knew were able to fall in love and get married...... but not to me"
she said with a straight look in her eye, and she cried.
She cried for her emotions.
She cried for all the good memories she gave all the men she knew.
She cried for understanding all of them who passed through her life but who never understood her.
She cried for her youth.
She cried for her worn out emotions and her long wasted years.
She cried for the lost love and the 'never showed up' love.
She cried because of her loneliness.

I listened and listened.
I tried to understand her.
I tried to make her feel better and to let all out of her mind and feelings.
I wanted her to feel better, but would she?
I myself felt bad enough to hear all that distress in her voice, and see all the agony in her tears.
Can I really help?

I know that she does not need understanding, that she needs to be lifted off her misery and be given a straight and final solution.
Trying to understand her is not enough, i know.
But what can one do to someone who says "i forgot how two people who are in love behave, what they do and what they say to each other, how they feel when together and how they miss each other when separated."

قومي يا بيروت قومي

"ستقتلون لبنان وتندمون"

نزار قباني

سألوني شو صاير ببلد العيد

مزروعة عالداير نار وبواريد

قلتلون بلدنا عم يخلق جديد

لبنان الكرامة والشعب العنيد

غناء السيدة فيروز

يستحق لبنان السلام. يستحق الحياة.

الصحافي فؤاد ابو زيد - جريدة الديار 23/12/2006

يا بيروت يا ست الدنيا يا بيروت

نعترف أمام الله الواحد نعترف

بأنا جرحناك

وأنا أتعبناك

وأنا حرقناك وأبكيناك

وأهديناك مكان الوردة سكينة

غناء السيدة ماجدة الرومي

New Rules, Principles and Logic .

Why have i become so violent?

Did i lose my kindness, calmness, leniency?

I used to be accused of being so much diplomatic.

It happened that i have become so much strict and rigid.

My stubbornness is killing me.

My expired principles are chocking me.

Am I throwing all my trouble and sadness in the face of anyone who cares to come closer to me and it happens that he came late?

So what if he came late?

Does he deserve all that bitterness?

Is he the one to blame?

I am not to blame, and definitely not him.

I need to go back and try to bring the peace inside of me again.

It hurts so much to be stubborn.

As for my rules and principles, they have really become out of date and obsolete so long ago.

It is true that i need to amend my principles.

However, it is very hard to accept today what you refused all your life.

I think i will try and live without all these principles and rules for a few weeks.

I will stop talking logic, thinking logic, and analysing logic.

Logic is "OUT" temporarily.

I will try and go back to my childhood, maybe then i will be able to establish new rules, principles, and logic.